Tales from a Stationary Traveller: Gap 360’s First Winter
Shivering through the days with the wind nipping at our ankles; as temperatures plummeted we wondered just how long we could carry on for. Facing power blackouts, oncoming blizzards and battles against the higher powers, it looked as though this could soon be the end…
And we hadn’t even left Tunbridge Wells.
Things have been a little cold and dark here in the Gap 360 office recently (especially when we blew all the power), and with winter well and truly wedged into the British weather forecasts, a fair few problems have been discovered with the office climate control. The most noticeable of which being the fact that we’ve had no heating.* And unfortunately, we’re nowhere near Barbados (yet).**
With the radiators dead and colder than a stowaway strapped to the side of a Trans Siberian train, things soon began to take a bit of an arctic roll. So numerous heaters were hurriedly purchased, and quickly started to multiply around the desks like glorious, grey, rectangular heat-producing rabbits. Unfortunately, just like their fuzzy eared wild counterparts, we soon discovered that heaters are a hideous drain on the office ecosystem. Wantonly guzzling up the electricity along with our computers, a delicate environmental balance was quickly upset and we ended up blowing all the power. A lot. Something had to be done.
As returning the power meant lengthy quests to the fuse board (hidden away in the neighbouring, dangerous realms of the buildings next door), we soon realised there wasn’t much for it but to call in the troops and wage full war. Plumbers, electricians, even wandering postmen and a shopper or two dutifully passed through the gateways of Gap 360 headquarters, but alas to no avail: winters icy fingers were rapidly closing around our throats.
Fearing the worst, and with our Technical Director already gone***, the MD held the heavy burden of leading us towards even the briefest glimmer of heat, and in a moment of sheer desperation, even resorted to innovative headscarf tactics; creating his own guerrilla headwear out of a well positioned scarf. Luckily, frostbitten ears were narrowly avoided, but even so, we continued to arm ourselves with blankets, ponchos, and everlasting cups of tea.
Then, finally, just as outside temperatures slipped well below zero and blizzards attacked Kent with a furious snowy vengeance, the cold snap cracked and shattered into a thousand melting pieces. Some higher heat loving power – some complete travel loving god, had at last allowed us to scrape the heating back and get the radiators working once more. And despite a few glacial hiccups, victory is now well and truly in sight. Let the defrosting commence…
*Oh and the toilet has a mystery leak. It’s probably haunted.
**You know that old idea where you imagine you’re in a hot place to warm yourself up? Totally works.
***It’s alright, he wasn’t eaten by yetis – he was busy enjoying his first week as a dad! Congrats!